"Only the gentle are ever really strong" - James Dean

James Byron Dean

(February 8, 1931 – September 30, 1955)

Rebel Without a Cause as Jim Stark

East of Eden as Cal Trask

Giant as Jett Rink

A Lovely Story About Me

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who Did not whine, nag or bitch.

(That would be me...)

But that was a long time ago and it was just that one day.

The End

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." - Victor Frankl

When you come back home after being away and you are surrounded by places, things and people that you've known all your life...change seems like a much angrier beast. Change is something that has come in, while you were away, and closed your favorite restaurant, moved a family member to another city, made prices go up and convinced your good friends to move house. How dare it come in and change your whole life around while you were gone?! And how are you supposed to adjust to all of this? Isn't it bad enough that you have to learn how to use the new microwave that your Mum bought and go to a new hair salon? Hasn't this beast put you through enough?

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy;
for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves;
we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~Anatole France

Today, I search for wisdom because I have no wisdom of my own, I only have my observations. Change has never been easy for me. Big changes, little changes, superficial changes...I saw them all as a threat to my way of life. A new sofa or chair, different pillows on my bed, a new microwave or refrigerator...all of these things are small and seemingly insignificant when they happen one at a time. However, when everything changes so quickly it becomes overwhelming.

"Things do no change. We change." ~Henry David Thoreau

However, I know that it isn't the new furniture or appliances that really bother me, they are just manifestations. What I am really having trouble with are the changes in my family unit, the health of a loved one...rapidly detiorating, moving out and moving on.

"For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Part of me is extremely excited to start another journey, another adventure. I know that this road, like all roads worth taking, will have challenges and frustrations. I also know that I could not have stayed where I was, doing what I was doing...and I cannot stay where I am now, doing nothing. Therefore my choices are limited. I must accept and embrace change and move on or dwell on how things used to be. The choice seems clear however, at the moment, it is blurred by strong memories and old emotions.

"Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” - Carl Gustav Jung

I have always worried that the contributions that I make to the world may not be enough.
I didn't donate enough money...
enough thought...
enough effort...
enough time...

Is the job that I am doing making a positive contribution to the universe? How am I helping the victims of an earthquake halfway around the world by watching Seinfeld in Australia?
What is the legacy that I am leaving?

When I was disheartened I would voice these concerns to my Mother, her response was that I was comparing apples to oranges...it is impossible fix all of the problems of the world. You can only do what you can do. Last night I found a similar message in "The Happiness Project".

"We expect heroic virtue to look flashy -- moving to Uganda to work with Aids victims, perhaps, or documenting the plight of the homeless people in Detroit. (Saint) Therese's examples shows that ordinary life, too, is full of opportunities for worth, if inconspicuous, virtue."

Never underestimate the contribution that you are making to the universe. And don't let anyone else devalue your contribution. Whether you are doing something small like helping to plan a fundraiser, donating $10 to a charity or volunteering.....or something big like dedicating your life to a not-for-profit organization, or working in a research lab on the cure for cancer...every little bit helps.

"Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes your behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself"

Just a few moments in time that i enjoyed today. From anywhere and everywhere.

Wishing my dear friend E.P.M a speedy recovery. I love you.

xxxx

“Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.” - Andre Gide

A few thoughts on communication and listening...

It is said that when men listen to women they don't want to listen, they just want to solve. They are not particularly interested in listening to your problem and offering support, they want to cut you off mid sentence and offer solutions to your problems. I believe it doesn't matter whether you are a man or a woman - Sometimes you just need to allow a conversation to run its course before you interject.

“To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well.”

One of the reasons that we are not great listeners in this day and age is because we have become accustomed to communicating over the Internet and we now feel that we need to respond to everything with words. One of my biggest pet pevees when talking to someone over FB chat is when they get offended if you don't respond to every message they send...even if the message doesn't include a question or a statement that requires a response. OR if they respond with LOL....LOL is NOT a response! The art of conversation is slowly dying and people are just retreating to their huts to live without human interaction. I'm not saying that I am better than anyone else when it comes to this. For me however, I would much rather get to know someone face to face - even if it means dealing with the occasional prolonged and somewhat "awkward silences". I am not a fan of internet lingo and I do prefer that you speak in complete sentences with proper grammar.

"The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate."

But I digress...another really interesting concept is non-verbal communications. It was the first way that people learned how to communicate at the beginning of time and it was also the first type of communication we learn as children. However, in school we are only taught how to interpret written or verbal communication and less than 1% of college graduates have been able to take a course that focuses on non-verbal communication...perhaps that is why we have to deal with so many misunderstandings every day. You also have to consider the fact that non-verbal communication is much more powerful than communication because it is harder to censor. We are always emoting non-verbally, in every situation!

"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.”

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier" - Mother Teresa

My Mother sends me chain emails on a daily basis. She gets such joy out of seeing those images of those little "icanhascheezburger" kittens. Usually I disregard them as spam, but for some reason I opened this one up (my best bet is because I was bored out of my brain and the DVD I had on was skipping)...anyway....I loved this story so much I wanted to share it.

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help."

There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by.

He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.

He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way." "I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it."

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind.

Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:

Be thankful for what you have.

Be creative.

Be innovative.

Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.

Face your past without regret.

Handle your present with confidence.

Prepare for the future without fear.

Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind it.

If you appreciate this message, please share.

“Hatred paralyses life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”-Martin Luther King, Jr.

I think I may use the word "hate" too often.
It's convienent, the word has all the power of an expletive without all the drama.
I suppose I don't really understand the power behind the sentiment.
I use it to express frustration, anger, hurt and disappointment.
"I hate you."
"I hate her."
"I hate him."
"I hate this."
"Hate: the emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action."
Yikes.

When I use the word I certainly do not intend for it to be taken in the true meaning.
For instance:
I hate lack of air-conditioning.
I hate having low battery.
I hate that when my internet goes slow near the end of the month.
I hate that I don't have Foxtel.
I hate Ke$ha.

I hate traffic.
I hate...
Tonight in a conversation I used the word "hate" in reference to a person I really don't care for -
In response,the person I was speaking with said "I don't hate anyone..."
I was shocked.
"You don't hate anyone? What about Hitler?"
His extremely insightful (albeit, out of character) response was:
"Hate is what made Hitler who he was."
Oh.
Wow.
I wish I could say something warm and fuzzy here like:
"let's take all of the hate in the world and replace it with LOVE"
but that's extremely unrealistic.
However, perhaps the first step is restricting the use of the word "hate" in our vocabulary.
Thoughts?

"The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend" - Aristotle

When I was in high school I got to see my best friends every single day. It was great.

Now we are growing up so quickly and I don't get to see my best friend(s) everyday. It sucks. I don't know what they're thinking, what they're doing or who they're with.

Friendship is hard sometimes.

Now, effort has to be made....when it comes to this you have two options:

1) Assume the best, give them the benefit of the doubt, look at the history of your friendship and see that you were and are friends for a reason. Trust.

2) Assume the worst, project your insecurities onto their response, ignore the history of your friendship and close yourself off. Mistrust.

If you follow Option 1, your friendship may not always be perfect but any misunderstandings or disappointments will be dealt with from a place of love, acceptance and honesty.

If you follow Option 2, your friendship will definitely not be perfect, things will be blown out of proportion and mountains will be made out of mole hills.In this day and age contact is often diluted or misinterpreted by Facebook, text messages, e-mails, MSN and Twitter. You get a message that says one thing and you believe another. Why? Simple....you put a spin on it based on your feelings, your memories and your preconceived notions. I am at fault for this as much as anyone. I am aware.

But the important question is....how do you stop it? The internet was designed as a tool for sharing information...but how can the shades of genuine emotion be communicated by a machine? I suppose it really depends on you...not only do you need to be extra clear in the message you are sending but you also need to be open to receiving a message without bias or pre-judgement. Once again, I am at fault for this as much as anyone. I am aware.

I feel as if I'm missing the mark. I have so many ideas, concepts, theories and feelings swirling around in my brain and I cannot grab them quickly enough and force them out the tips of my fingers.
In the end...what I really want to say is...
I am extremely grateful for the very few friends that I have whom can trust completely.
I trust them not to hurt me (intentionally).
I trust them to give me the benefit of the doubt.
I trust them to stick up for me.
I trust them to consider the history of our friendship before throwing me under the bus.

“Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods”

A few words on faith...
When I speak about faith I don't mean faith in God. Faith in God is something that I possess but I know it may not be your "cup of tea".

So what am I talking about?

When I was in high school I had a friend who would constantly say "Don't worry, the universe will provide" and that always made me feel nice. Like the universe would magically produce a blanket when I was cold or food when I was hungry. However, after a while I saw that it really wasn't the universe that was providing these things for me, it was people (more specifically, my Mother).
So what should we have faith in? Well, of course the obvious answer is people. We should have faith in people. Our friends, our family, our lovers. People are what makes this world a happy place. However, after so many broken hearts and so much devastation in the world at the hands of "people" it is difficult to believe in them anymore, isn't it? What about all the murderers and thieves, the crooked cops and the abusive partners?

It is very easy to lose faith in people.

However, what about the time your best friend sent you a care package when you were sick alone at home?
Or the time that your parents came out to a play you were starring in and cheered extra loud?
Or what about the person who holds the door open for you at Uni?
Or the man in front of you at Hudson's that pays for your coffee?
Or when a teacher told you they were proud of you?
Or when a stranger said "Bless you" after you sneezed?

What about all of those little things that happen every single day that you look past? The things that you forget about as quickly as they happen.
I believe that these little things can save your faith.
Your faith in God. (if you so choose)
Your faith in the Universe.
Your faith in man.
Because really.
It's all the same.

“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” -St Francis of Assisi

"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them." ~Dave Barry

Lately I have become increasingly frustrated with people using social networking sites as a way to promote their religious beliefs. Posting links to articles on the Vatican's website or essays about the sins of homosexuality is, in my opinon, not appropriate on a website that was designed to help people keep in touch with friends and family.

I am sure that there is somewhere in cyberland that is much more appropriate for this type of disucssion-blogs for instance, or discussion forums on online religious communities. Not only will your ideas be more seriously considered and discussed but you will, most likely, not run the risk of offending people who are on the site just to keep in touch with their friends.
I am pretty sure that Jesus would like technology (he invented it, after all) but I don't think he wants his words to be misspelled, misinterpreted and plastered all over peoples FB status' in your misguided attempt to convert your Facebook Friends from sinners to saints.

"I'm not religious, but I like God and he likes me."
~Tony Kushner, Angels in America

"Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said."

"How did you say something...that wasn't?"

The other night I watched "The Invention of Lying". I knew absolutley nothing about the premise of the film, just that it featured Ricky Gervais and Jennifer Garner. (may i just add that i absolutely LOVE everything Ricky Gervais does!!!)... From the little I had heard I thought that it would be more artistic and theoretical, sort of snap shots of peoples lives that had been changed by lying. Instead I saw an extremely moving (and at some times, depressing) love story about two people who were trying to overcome their respective preconcieved notions about dating. Should you be with someone who is your genetic, intellectual and professional match? Someone that you can make intellengent and attractive children with? Or should you be with someone that makes you happy, regardless of all that other stuff?

However, the most interesting part of the movie is the setting...living in a world where lying just...isn't. It's not an option, it's not on the menu, it's not on the radar....it just isn't.

The first scene completely blows your mind and it takes a while to get used to. It is a painful reminder of how many little lies we tell every day. It makes you realize that little white lies have become the lubricant of our society.


How would you make it through your day if you had to answer the question "how are you?" honestly...EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKED? If you had to answer every single question honestly how would you date? Or conduct a job interview? Or talk with your family?


Think about it!

“Unless I accept my virtues, I most certainly will be overwhelmed by my faults.”

Sometimes I find that my thoughts can shrink to the size of the space I am inhabiting. I feel them pressing down on me like invisible walls, moving slowly and yet causing me to double over onto myself...questioning my actions, my opinions and myself as a person.

When this happens I believe that you must get outside your space before the shrunken thoughts get bigger than you and end up suffocating. Only when you remove yourself from that space can you gain perspective and see the world for how big, beautiful, scary and alive it is. The worlds reality puts everything in perspective for you very quickly.

I lived such a small life today.

Eventually I forced myself to leave my space to get a little human interaction and stop myself from drowing in drama and self pity.

And that saved me.

"....they all dress the same and act the same and conform in their non-conformity.... "

"Hipsters are the friends who sneer when you cop to liking Coldplay. They're the people who wear t-shirts silk-screened with quotes from movies you've never heard of and the only ones in America who still think Pabst Blue Ribbon is a good beer. They sport cowboy hats and berets and think Kanye West stole their sunglasses. Everything about them is exactingly constructed to give off the vibe that they just don't care."
~Time Magazine, 2009
Check out this article and perhaps it will help you understand the mystery of the hipster.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julia-plevin/whos-a-hipster_b_117383.html

"Everything Popular Is Wrong." - Oscar Wilde

I find it intriguing that no matter how old you are or how secure you think you've become with yourself...you can still be made to feel horribly uncool.

For the past few years I have been toying with the idea of fitting in with a certain crowd. I've observed these folks from a far, hanging around on the outskirts of their lives, making tiny changes in my personal style and attitude to bring me closer to their 'cool'. However, tonight, being surrounded by these mythical creatures I realized that they are no cooler than me. They are just people, in fact, up close they seem to be shockingly insecure and dysfunctional people. They might wear different clothes or listen to different music but what it boils down to is that we are all just black coffee. We all start out the same but its what you add that makes it different, not better, or worse...just different.