"Only the gentle are ever really strong" - James Dean

James Byron Dean

(February 8, 1931 – September 30, 1955)

Rebel Without a Cause as Jim Stark

East of Eden as Cal Trask

Giant as Jett Rink

A Lovely Story About Me

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who Did not whine, nag or bitch.

(That would be me...)

But that was a long time ago and it was just that one day.

The End

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." - Victor Frankl

When you come back home after being away and you are surrounded by places, things and people that you've known all your life...change seems like a much angrier beast. Change is something that has come in, while you were away, and closed your favorite restaurant, moved a family member to another city, made prices go up and convinced your good friends to move house. How dare it come in and change your whole life around while you were gone?! And how are you supposed to adjust to all of this? Isn't it bad enough that you have to learn how to use the new microwave that your Mum bought and go to a new hair salon? Hasn't this beast put you through enough?

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy;
for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves;
we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~Anatole France

Today, I search for wisdom because I have no wisdom of my own, I only have my observations. Change has never been easy for me. Big changes, little changes, superficial changes...I saw them all as a threat to my way of life. A new sofa or chair, different pillows on my bed, a new microwave or refrigerator...all of these things are small and seemingly insignificant when they happen one at a time. However, when everything changes so quickly it becomes overwhelming.

"Things do no change. We change." ~Henry David Thoreau

However, I know that it isn't the new furniture or appliances that really bother me, they are just manifestations. What I am really having trouble with are the changes in my family unit, the health of a loved one...rapidly detiorating, moving out and moving on.

"For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Part of me is extremely excited to start another journey, another adventure. I know that this road, like all roads worth taking, will have challenges and frustrations. I also know that I could not have stayed where I was, doing what I was doing...and I cannot stay where I am now, doing nothing. Therefore my choices are limited. I must accept and embrace change and move on or dwell on how things used to be. The choice seems clear however, at the moment, it is blurred by strong memories and old emotions.

"Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” - Carl Gustav Jung

I have always worried that the contributions that I make to the world may not be enough.
I didn't donate enough money...
enough thought...
enough effort...
enough time...

Is the job that I am doing making a positive contribution to the universe? How am I helping the victims of an earthquake halfway around the world by watching Seinfeld in Australia?
What is the legacy that I am leaving?

When I was disheartened I would voice these concerns to my Mother, her response was that I was comparing apples to oranges...it is impossible fix all of the problems of the world. You can only do what you can do. Last night I found a similar message in "The Happiness Project".

"We expect heroic virtue to look flashy -- moving to Uganda to work with Aids victims, perhaps, or documenting the plight of the homeless people in Detroit. (Saint) Therese's examples shows that ordinary life, too, is full of opportunities for worth, if inconspicuous, virtue."

Never underestimate the contribution that you are making to the universe. And don't let anyone else devalue your contribution. Whether you are doing something small like helping to plan a fundraiser, donating $10 to a charity or volunteering.....or something big like dedicating your life to a not-for-profit organization, or working in a research lab on the cure for cancer...every little bit helps.

"Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes your behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself"

Just a few moments in time that i enjoyed today. From anywhere and everywhere.

Wishing my dear friend E.P.M a speedy recovery. I love you.

xxxx

“Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.” - Andre Gide

A few thoughts on communication and listening...

It is said that when men listen to women they don't want to listen, they just want to solve. They are not particularly interested in listening to your problem and offering support, they want to cut you off mid sentence and offer solutions to your problems. I believe it doesn't matter whether you are a man or a woman - Sometimes you just need to allow a conversation to run its course before you interject.

“To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well.”

One of the reasons that we are not great listeners in this day and age is because we have become accustomed to communicating over the Internet and we now feel that we need to respond to everything with words. One of my biggest pet pevees when talking to someone over FB chat is when they get offended if you don't respond to every message they send...even if the message doesn't include a question or a statement that requires a response. OR if they respond with LOL....LOL is NOT a response! The art of conversation is slowly dying and people are just retreating to their huts to live without human interaction. I'm not saying that I am better than anyone else when it comes to this. For me however, I would much rather get to know someone face to face - even if it means dealing with the occasional prolonged and somewhat "awkward silences". I am not a fan of internet lingo and I do prefer that you speak in complete sentences with proper grammar.

"The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate."

But I digress...another really interesting concept is non-verbal communications. It was the first way that people learned how to communicate at the beginning of time and it was also the first type of communication we learn as children. However, in school we are only taught how to interpret written or verbal communication and less than 1% of college graduates have been able to take a course that focuses on non-verbal communication...perhaps that is why we have to deal with so many misunderstandings every day. You also have to consider the fact that non-verbal communication is much more powerful than communication because it is harder to censor. We are always emoting non-verbally, in every situation!

"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.”

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier" - Mother Teresa

My Mother sends me chain emails on a daily basis. She gets such joy out of seeing those images of those little "icanhascheezburger" kittens. Usually I disregard them as spam, but for some reason I opened this one up (my best bet is because I was bored out of my brain and the DVD I had on was skipping)...anyway....I loved this story so much I wanted to share it.

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help."

There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by.

He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.

He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way." "I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it."

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind.

Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:

Be thankful for what you have.

Be creative.

Be innovative.

Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.

Face your past without regret.

Handle your present with confidence.

Prepare for the future without fear.

Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind it.

If you appreciate this message, please share.